| Introduction To the Tools for Coping Series
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What is the Tools for Coping Series? |
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Why Tools for Coping? |
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How to Use the Books in the Tools for Coping Series |
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Use of Journal |
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Daily Journal Entry Outline |
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Dedication of the Tools for Coping Series |
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Acknowledgement for the Tools for Coping Series |
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About the Author of the Tools for Coping Series |
What is the Tools for Coping Series?
In February 1985 I was at a program presented by Sharon Wegscheider–Cruse on Adult Children of Alcoholics. She was showing a film entitled ``Another Chance'' about a woman in a therapy program dealing with emotional issues concerning her family of origin long locked inside of herself. I was so emotionally overwhelmed by this conference that I immediately enrolled in Sharon's ``Family Restoration Workshop,'' a week long therapy program for therapists who had family of origin issues. This program, held in the Philadelphia area, sponsored by the Caron Foundation, helped me to come to grips with the concept that:
Our parents did the best they could knowing what they did at the time. We, as adults, must now take responsibility for our own lives and learn what ``normal'' is so that we can have healthier, more productive lives. On returning to Tampa I initiated a weekly twelve step support group for my clients who were adults from dysfunctional families. In this program called the SEA's Program we used psychodrama, Gestalt, and role playing, to cover relevant issues from my clients' lives. I wrote a weekly handout for each group, so that my clients had something for homework and ongoing personal growth. Over 150 handouts became the nine volume Tools for Coping Series. Book One, The Self–Esteem Seekers Anonymous Manual — The SEA's Program is a comprehensive workbook on Self–Esteem, the recovery program from low self–esteem, the recovery lifestyle, and the twelve steps of the program. Book Two, Laying the Foundation, covers the nine behavioral patterns I identify in people with low self–esteem and dysfunctional families. Book Three, Tools for Handling Loss, covers strategies for coping with the losses experienced in life. Book Four, Tools for Personal Growth, covers issues affecting self–esteem and self–worth with strategies for improved self–health. Book Five, Tools for Relationships, covers issues that are barriers to healthy relationships with suggestions to remediate the problems. Book Six, Tools for Communications, covers the strategies for effective communication. Book Seven, Tools for Anger Work–Out, covers strategies to overcome the stranglehold anger can have on our lives. Book Eight, Tools for Handling Control Issues, covers strategies for letting go of the need to control other people, places, and things in our lives. Book Nine, Growing Down, covers strategies for healing the inner child.
Why Tools for Coping?
It is my belief that we counselors are often too theoretical or idealistic in our approach with our clients. We need to recognize that our clients are responsible for themselves and that all we can do is to provide a set of guidelines or emotional tools for them to keep in their own tool boxes to take out and use when necessary. The tools must be clearly marked, easily explained, readily understood, and easy to use. The tools must have specific, easy–to–read directions that result in clarity of purpose and focus. The tools must result in increased coping skills and personal functioning. The Tools for Coping Series is a set of books that functions as a tool box or reference manual of what ``normal'' is for the readers. It can be used over and over again. The best tools we can give our clients are those that pass the test of time. It is my hope that each chapter and unit in the Tools for Coping Series will prove to be a useful tool, improving personal, emotional, and interpersonal functioning and coping.
How to use the books in the Tools for Coping Series Each book in the series is intended to be a self directed, insight producing tool of self improvement. The outline of each chapter in each book assists the readers with self assessment as to the impact of each issue on their lives. Not every item listed will apply directly to each reader. Just check those items which you feel are true for you. This check off process will help you recognize issues that may be inhibiting your personal growth in self–esteem.
At the close of almost all of the sections in the books of the series is a section called "Steps to." This is a guide to assist the readers in dealing with those relevant items. The readers will use a separate notebook or journal to respond to the questions in the "Steps to" sections. This journal will be the readers' own words for self improvement. On completing the "Steps to" section in the journal, each reader will have identified strategies to improve personal functioning and lessen the negative impact of low self–esteem.
Use of Journal
With the Tools for Coping Series, the readers are expected to use a journal to respond to the "Steps to" sections. In the journal the readers can also record their emotional response to the material presented in the books. In this way, daily journal responding can make the use of the books a self–healing experience, opening the readers to emotions and feelings either repressed, suppressed, ignored, non–identified, or unknown for years. This opening up of oneself to feelings is a way of freeing oneself to experience personal growth and well–being. Using the Tools for Coping Series as a catalyst to open up these emotions is a process involving the readers in studying the material, checking off the items relevant to self, responding to the "Steps to" sections of each section, and also keeping a daily log of emotions and feelings. This journal can either be written in a notebook or tape recorded on tapes saved for later reference.
Daily Journal Entry OutlineCurrent issue coming up for me as a result of reading the Tools for Coping Series books:
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Incidents occurring recently to bring up issue |
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How did I deal with this issue? |
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What were my feelings at the time? |
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What are my feelings now? |
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How could I have handled my response to this issue better? In the future? |
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What plans can I develop to rectify my response to this issue? |
Dedication of Tools for Coping Series
To all adults who are working on recovery from low self-esteem. To all children reared in dysfunctional families.
To my own son and daughter, that they will be able to accept responsibility for their lives and accept that their parents did the best that they could knowing what they knew at the time.
To all readers of this series, that they will learn to cope better in life and grow in self-esteem.
Acknowledgement for the Tools for Coping Series
I would first like to thank my clients in the SEA's Program in my practice for field testing all of the concepts in the Tools for Coping Series materials.
I want to thank and acknowledge my wife, Connie, for participating jointly in our journey of recovery as we both learned to let go of control of our children and each other and survived miraculously in the process.
I want to recognize and thank my children, Melissa and Steven, who have flourished in the transition from over-control by their parents into personal responsibility taking and personal self-control. You guys are what this is all about. I love you both.
James J. Messina, Ph.D. Tampa, Florida
About the Author of the Tools for Coping Series
James J. Messina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Tampa, Florida. He is the co-founder and past president of the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) and past chairman of the National Academy of Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselors (NACCMHC). He is also a past board member of American Association of Counseling and Development (AACD) and the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC). He is the past recipient of the AMHCA Counselor of the Year and the AACD Professional Development Award. He has authored Marriage Work-Out and twenty six other books and numerous journal and professional articles.
The Tools for Coping Series began to be written in 1985 after Jim began his own personal recovery program. He has field tested all of the materials in a twelve-step support program he has conducted in his private practice.
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