| Steps to overcoming pessimism and negativity
Step 1: First I need to read the following story, then answer the questions in my journal:
The Story of the Pessimist and the Optimist
There once was a major research project held at a world renowned university center. The project was to develop operational definitions of a pessimist and of an optimist.
The researchers ran a national contest to identify the most optimistic and pessimistic persons in the country. A little girl won in the pessimist category and a little boy won in the optimist one. The researchers brought these two children to the research center for the final observational portion of the study.
The pessimistic little girl was brought to the research laboratory where, in a large room behind a one-way mirror, she was shown a room full of new toys. She was told that each of the toys she played with over the next thirty minutes were hers. All she needed to do was play with them.
She looked at the research team skeptically as she entered the toy-filled room. What happened that next half hour shocked and stunned the researchers. The girl systematically opened every single box in the room and rejected each of the toys in turn. The researchers heard her say things like: "These aren't new toys.'' "These toys will never work.'' "There are no Harry Potter Toys in here!""There are no batteries in here to operate these toys.'' "They'll never let me keep these toys.'' "I don't like these cutsey sweetsy dolls.'' "The stuffing is coming out of these animals,'' etc. When the thirty minutes ended the girl left the room toyless. Watching this cheerless, lifeless, sour, bitter child leave the room carrying no toys, the researchers had enough data for the operational definition of a pessimist.
The researchers were worried after the dramatic display of the pessimist thinking, ``How will we ever be able to top this.'' They worked quickly on a strategy and finally they brought the optimistic boy to the research lab. In the same room behind a one-way mirror he was shown a roomful of horse manure. He was told only that he would have thirty minutes in the room.
To the amazement of the research team, the boy entered the room and dove into the manure. He threw it all over the place. He was animated, excited, alive, and happy. He kept digging and digging shouting with glee. He was ecstatic. The research team members behind the one-way mirror were eyeing one another with all knowing looks which meant, "Of course we know what an optimist is - an optimist is psychotic.''
After thirty minutes the little boy, who by this time was covered with manure from head to toe, was brought to the head of the research team. The director of the study asked, "Little boy, what was going on in there?''
The boy with hopeful, excited eyes looked up and said, "Madame, with all that horse manure, there just had to be a pony in there somewhere, and I was sure I would find it!''
Questions:
A. With whom do I identify, the girl or the boy?
B. How is my behavior like the girl's? The boy's?
C. What would I have done differently if I had been in the girl's shoes?
D. What would I have done differently if I had been in the boy's shoes?
E. How do I lose out on the free toys of life when they are offered to me?
F. How hard do I look for the pony in my life?
G. How reasonable were the girl's comments about the toys?
H. How do I feel about the set-up by the researchers? In what ways was the girl set-up to fail? In what ways was the boy set up to fail? Who was the winner?
I. How willingly do I accept the good things of life? What do I do when I receive the toys of life such as compliments, reinforcement, recognition, rewards, success, positive strokes, and gifts of love and kindness?
J. How often do I get mired or stuck in the horse manure of life? How often do I seek out the pony? What keeps me from looking for the pony? How afraid am I to be called psychotic or out of touch because I look for the pony?
K. What does this analysis tell me about myself? What part does pessimism and negativity play in my behavioral pattern?
L. I will analyze the components of this story as they relate to my life to help me see how negative or pessimistic I am.
The following items parallel my life:
| Story Item |
Parallel Item in my Life |
| University |
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| Research Team |
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| Director of Research |
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| One-Way Mirror |
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| Toys |
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| Manure |
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| Girl |
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| Boy |
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| National Contest |
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| Operational Definition-Goal of Research |
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M. How could this story have been different for me? What would I have done differently from the boy, the girl, or the research team?
N. What story in my life parallels this story and indicates my degree of pessimism or optimism?
O. I am pessimistic and I display it in the following ways:
Step 2: I will continue and answer the following questions in my journal:
A. What does my negative and pessimistic behavior look like?
B. How does this behavior make me feel?
C. What are the effects of this behavior?
D. What irrational thinking is behind this behavior?
E. What rational replacement thinking is necessary?
F. What are the underlying causes for this behavior?
G. How could I overcome my negative and pessimistic behavior?
Step 3: Once I've identified how I could overcome my pessimism and negativity, I need to commit myself to a plan. Review the following strategies for the plan:
Strategies to Overcome Negativity
1. Get support from others to remind me when I'm being pessimistic or negative.
2. Look for the pony in everything that happens to me.
3. Accept myself as a human being who might slip back into old, tried and true behavior.
4. Select only positive people with whom to associate.
5. Watch only TV shows and movies that are upbeat.
6. Read only books and novels that reflect the upbeat, positive aspects of life.
7. Join a church and become active in a ministry to those less fortunate.
8. Set aside at least 1% of my net income for charitable donations to people who have permanent, lifelong disabilities.
9. Volunteer to be a big brother or big sister to a lonely child or visit someone in a nursing home.
10. Volunteer four hours a month in a nonprofit agency that helps people less fortunate than myself.
Step 4: After reviewing the ten strategies above, I need to respond to these questions in my journal:
A. How would these strategies help me to become more positive and optimistic?
B. How realistic are each of these strategies for me?
C. How did I feel while reading these ten strategies?
D. How comfortable am I in taking direct action to overcome my problems?
E. What keeps me from doing each of these ten strategies?
F. I will include the following strategies in my plan of action:
Step 5: I have reviewed the steps and the strategies I need to implement a step-by-step plan of action. I'll use the following outline to keep track of my progress.
Outline for Overcoming Pessimism and Negativity
I. Current state of problem:
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Toward family
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Toward co-workers
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Toward friends
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Others
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II. My feelings about this behavior:
III. Reactions and feedback from others:
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Family
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Co-workers
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Friends
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Others
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IV. Present Irrational thinking:
V. New thinking model:
VI. Unresolved issues:
VII. Negative thoughts:
VIII. Replacement thoughts:
IX. Self esteem activities:
X. Strategies for positive behavior:
XI. Support sought:
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From family
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From co-workers
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From friends
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Others
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XII. Refocusing of spirituality:
XIII. How to measure behavioral changes:
XIV. Feedback about behavioral changes:
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From family
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From co-workers
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From friends
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Others
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XV. Analysis of changes
Step 6: I will work on this outline to change my negative behavior. I will analyze the changes. If I find that I am stuck in negative thoughts and actions I will return to Step 1, and begin again.
I will continue to look for the pony life has to offer me.
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