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jamesjmessina.com

Helping You Become All You are Capable of Becoming

P - Pathfinder Parenting Principles
P - Pathfinder Parenting Principles
From: Pathfinder Parenting: Tools for Raising Responsible Children
By: James J. Messina, Ph.D.

Family Oriented Principles section of the Pathfinders Parenting Principles is now on Livestrong.com at: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14658-family-oriented-principles/
Scroll down below for the complete unedited version of the entire section


The 50 Principles Contained in Pathfinder Parenting


Personal Oriented Principles

1. Promote your health
2. Let go of fantasy children
3. Avoid being over-protective
4. Curb your temper
5. Avoid cloning yourself
6. Let go of guilt over past parenting errors
7. Forgive yourself for past parenting errors
8. Avoid over-compensating
9. Use detachment
10. Admit your mistakes

 

Family Oriented Principles

1. Promote the health of your marriage
2. Balance career and family
3. Avoid triangulation
4. Seek win-win solutions
5. Be the leader of the family
6. Establish healthy boundaries
7. Encourage respect for others
8. Eliminate family secrets
9. Seek out professional help
10. Advocate for children

 

Child Oriented Principles

1. Encourage uniqueness and individuality
2. Encourage children's sense of autonomy
3. Avoid entitlement
4. Empathize with children's hard knocks
5. Teach feelings are choices
6. Give children freedom of choice
7. Love unconditionally
8. Adapt for special needs children
9. Avoid perfectionistic parenting
10. Be authentic

 

Developmental Principles

1. Have fun with children
2. Stimulate creativity
3. Let children be children
4. Encourage healthy sexuality
5. Avoid sexual stereotyping
6. Stimulate leadership potential in children
7. Live a healthy lifestyle
8. Promote spirituality
9. Encourage a world view
10. Encourage career mindedness

 

Behavioral Principles

1. Describe behaviors not children as non-acceptable
2. Catch the good in children
3. Ignore the negative
4. Listen to behaviors
5. Communicate with children
6. Avoid cornering children in lies
7. Use natural and logical consequences
8. Be consistent
9. Follow through
10. Be assertive with children

 

Pathfinder's Parenting Principles Inventory

Now that you have considered these Parenting Principles for Pathfinders, take some time to identify which ones you have already implemented in your life and which ones you have to add. Use the following Pathfinder's Parenting Principles Inventory to make your assessment.

Direction: Put a rating next to each of the 50 principles above as to how frequently you have used it in the parenting of your children. Use the following rating scale:

1. Never used this principle in parenting

2. Rarely used this principle in parenting

3. Sometimes used this principle in parenting

4. Frequently used this principle in parenting

5. Always used this principle in parenting

Once you have put in your ratings, add them up and put in your total score:

_____ Total Score

Interpretation of scores on Pathfinders Parenting Principles Inventory

Add up all of the ratings you have given the 50 parenting principles for your total score. The following is the interpretation of the scores.


Score Rating Interpretation

50-75 Very Poor You have a long ways to go to find the road to becoming a pathfinder with your children.

76-125 Poor You are getting close to the road to begin your journey to becoming a pathfinder.

126-175 Fair You have entered the road and begun to make progress in becoming a pathfinder.

176-225 Good You have come quite a distance on the road to becoming a pathfinder.

226-250 Excellent You are almost at the completion of the journey to becoming a pathfinder for your children.

 

Journal Exercise

Directions: In your personal journal respond to the following questions:

1. Which of these principles are you currently following in your parenting with your children? How hard a time do you have abiding by these principles? What do you need in your life in order to assist you to keep these principles actively working for you?

2. Which of these principles do you not currently follow? Which of these principles would you like to implement in your life? What is currently keeping you from implementing them? Which of these principles do you not want to implement? Why is this? What makes these principles unacceptable to you?

3. Which of these principles currently challenge your beliefs about being a parent? What beliefs are being challenged? How rational are your beliefs which are being challenged by the Pathfinder's Parenting Principles?

4. What do you think your family would be like if you implemented all of the principles you can accept as valid in your life?

5. How would your personal functioning change if you implemented all the principles you want to put into place with your children?

6. What obstacles currently stand in your way to fully implementing the principles you like on this list?

7. What would be the reaction of your children to the implementing of the principles you want for your family?

8. How would your partner in raising your children respond to your implementing these principles?

9. What do you need to do for yourself in order to fully implement these principles?

10. What do you think could be the benefits for you in implementing these principles in your life?


©1999-2010 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D.  For more information contact Jim at jamesjmessina@gmail.com Note: Original materials on this site may be reproduced for your personal, educational or noncommercial use as long as you credit the authors and website. All internet resources on this site are encouraged to be reproduced on sites with similar interests and audiences.